Nickilocks

Nick (Goldilocks):*randomly skipping through the jungle* Off to grandmothers house I go!! *grin*

Q (Narrator): Nick... we're not doing Little Red Riding Hood... we're doing Goldilocks and the Three Bears!

Nick:*slowly understanding it* Ohhhh, ok! *skips off*

Q: So, a little bit later Nick came to a tiny cottage in the woods- ur, Jungle... where a family of bears lived.

Nick:*sniffing the air* I smell... *sniff* PIZZA!!! *knocks down the door and bursts into the house* *glances at the table in front of him with three pizza's on it* Yummmm... *eats the first pizza* *begins to eat the second pizza*

Q: Wait, wait, wait!!! You're supposed to say the first pizza was too hot and that you couldn't eat it!

Nick: It was hot... but, still good.

Q:*sighin in exasperation* Fine, fine, fine... do whatever!

Nick:*ends up eating all the pizza's in one gulp* *rubs his stomach* All that pizza sure made me need to go to the bathroom... *walks into the first bathroom he see's* *he glances around to see that it's all basically cold hard steel* Hmm... *pulls down his pants and sits on the toilet* Brr... too cold.

Lauran & Tanya:*just happening to be passing through the bathroom* Hi Nick... by Nick. *they leave*

Nick:*not even noticing Tanya and Lauran were here* This bathroom is too cold! *leaves and goes to the bathroom next to that one* *he notices everything is pink and smells of potpouri* Ok, too girly! *goes to the bathroom next to that one* *it looks like a regular guy bathroom, a little messy, but a little neat with a stack of porno mags next to the toilet* Just perfect...

::10 minutes later::

Q:*standing outside the door* Come on Nick... you have a story to finish up!

Nick: Just five more minutes...

Q: Alright *annoyed sigh*

::30 minutes later::

Nick:*finally comes out* I'm pretty tired... I think I need to go lie down! *walks into the first bedroom which is bare except for one lamp on a nightstand next to a thin bed* Um... how about no? *walks into the next bedroom that looks like a teeny boppers bedroom* *posters of Backstreet and Nsync are all over and the room is pink with a neat organized closet and drawers* No way am I sleeping in here... *walks to the next room which looks like a regular guys room* *there's a lingering smell of stale pizza and dirty clothes, and the flannel sheets on the bed are strewn about* *on the ceiling there are Playboy centerfolds sloppily taped up* JUST PERFECT! *crawls on to the bed and falls asleep*

Q:*looking down at the "Big Ass Book of Fairy Tales" she stole from Grace* So as little Goldilocks slumbered away, the family of, um Bear Things came home.

Kevin:(Papa Bear Thing) I think someone's been in here.

Howie:(Mama Bear) And someone ate our pizza!

AJ:(Urm, Someone Baby Bear) Eh, you can always make more Mama Bitch- ur, I mean Bear.

Kevin:*walks into the bathroom* has sat on my toilet, get the disinfectant wife!

Howie:*hurries and gets him his disinfectent, then walks into his bathroom* Well, no one's been in my bathroom.

AJ:*holding his nose in disgust* Well, someone sure has been in my bathroom!

Kevin: You go on and check the bedrooms, I'm still cleaning the bathroom.

Howie:*walks into the bedroom* Well, no ones been in here either.

AJ:*from inside his bedroom* Holy SHIOT!!!

Nick: AAAAAAAA!

AJ: AAAAAAA!

Howie: What?

Kevin:*continues scrubbing*

AJ: Nick, what the hell are you doing in here man?

Q: Wait, AJ... you're not supposed to know who he is!

AJ: But he's in my group!

Q: But, you're not in the same group in the story!

AJ:*gets distracted by Nick flipping through one of his porno's* That's a good issue.

Nick:*nods in agreement*

Q: Whatever... *looks back into book* So, Goldilocks and Baby Bear became fast friends. Papa Bear scrubbed that toilet for a very long time. And Mama Bear made some more pizza's. So, the moral of the story is-

Kevin:*appearing behind her holding a shot gun* You have until the count of three to get out of this house!

Q: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *throws up book and runs out the door, ramming into Brian as he walks in*

Brian: Howdy, cuz! That sure is a nice gun you got there! *audience laughs as Brian stops in a freeze frame*

THE END!

Lookie, so cute...